It was a Saturday afternoon, and I was out with my friends, enjoying the outdoors and happy to be out of lockdown. Finally, we could meet in small groups, enjoy some picnics, and enjoy the social company. While I had taken the weekend off, I was still checking my mail (which I no longer do on weekends). I was waiting for feedback on a report I had sent earlier. Then I saw an email from one of my clients. It pretty much summed up that he was not happy with my work because I had made some errors. He also noted that the quality of my work had dropped. I stood there, mouth open, mind racing and confused. I was far from my laptop and could not review the report to confirm my fears. Was it true? Had I let him down? I tried to be upbeat the rest of the afternoon but was having a hard time not paying mind to the email. Little did I know that this was the beginning of my journey with COVID 19 and brain fog.
Finally, I got home, tired, but had to check the work. There it was! Two mistakes that I would have never made in the past! I was shocked and even embarrassed that I had sent in such work. What had happened? I edited the work, profusely apologized, and headed to shower. Later, I started reflecting on the changes I had noticed in my body ever since leaving quarantine. If you missed my story on my quarantine experience, you could check it out here. So, what had changed in the months that followed?
My Experience with COVID 19 and Brain Fog
Body Fatigue
In the past, I would wake up based on my natural clock and would feel energized and ready to face the day. But now, even after ten hours of sleep, I would start feeling tired. I especially noticed that my food comas had become worse. Before COVID, I would have a slight change in energy levels after heavy meals. Sometimes, I would nap, and at others, I would push through the fatigue successfully. However, of late, I was battling heavy lids, sour moods and had to fight to stay awake. I even tried sleeping all day, and nothing helped. My body was just tired.
Reduced Concentration Span
Have you ever been on the phone with someone, and they trail off? That had become me! I would be on the phone with a friend or family member, and my mind would soon start wandering. It was not because I was bored. No, I was very interested in having a conversation with my loved ones. However, my concentration would be cut short abruptly. Then, I would resort to answering things like ‘that sounds nice,’ ‘oh, how wonderful’ and ‘I can imagine what that is like.’ My responses became generic, and I could tell that the other person was getting tired of the conversation. I eventually had to come clean and tell my loved ones that I did not quite feel like myself. That way, they would not feel like I was rude.
Mood Changes
Having suffered from anxiety, I understand that environmental changes or even conversations can affect my moods. However, I did not quite understand my moods. One minute, I would be all over the place, giddy and laughing. Then I would suffer a mood change and would soon be bored and a bit gloomy. I remember one of my friends started thinking I was always hungover on the weekends. I was not even having alcohol most of the time. But each time they called me early morning on the weekend, I would sound tired.
Time Changes
Here is a weird one. Sometimes, people say they do not have enough time to do things. Then, of course, there is the concept of creating time which I truly believe works. But my case was a bit different. I would be making breakfast and probably know that it is 8 in the morning, and my oats should be ready by 8:15. I would then start working on a chore, like doing the dishes. By the time I looked up, it was half-past 8. I felt like I stood still, and time kept moving, which frustrated me. Here is another example. I would leave the gym at 7 to be at home by 7:15. When I got home, my only duty was to select a movie for the night, shower, eat and sleep. I was to do all that by 10. However, time would move so fast, and I would be so slow that I would end up sleeping at midnight. I did not understand what was happening. It just felt like one more tick-tock, and I would run out of time.
Mind Blanks
My brain felt blank. It is like I had this space right behind my forehead that was empty. There was nothing. Sometimes, I would be outside, and my mind was completely blank. If someone was speaking to me, they would think I was disinterested. I even think that people who have met me in the past few months will never know how sharp and quick I once was. But how can I claim COVID 19 and brain fog as my defense?
COVID 19 and Brain Fog
I especially noticed the changes in my brain activity. Remember the report I had messed up? I realized that to make sure that I did not mess up again, I would have to work on each report three times. First, I would make the rough edit. Secondly, I would use a grammar checker to make sure there were no typos I had missed. Finally, I would use a document reader to see if the report sounded okay. Work that took me half an hour to an hour now took up about one and a half to two hours. It meant that I handled fewer reports than I would like, and it frustrated me. But that was the price I was willing to pay to ensure that all my work was okay.
Feeling Different
Of all the changes associated with COVID 19 and brain fog, I have to say that this was the hardest. I did not feel like me. It was like I was in someone else’s body and could see myself, but that was not me. I do not even know how to describe it because it was not an out-of-body experience. It was more of a ‘this is not my body’ experience. After all, I could no longer hold conversations like I once did, was slow at work, barely had energy, and had to fake it until I made it. I was suffering inside but did not know how to show it because it was eating me in places nobody could see. Only I could feel it, and it hurt.
Have Other People Experienced COVID 19 and Brain Fog?
As you may have guessed, the first step I took on realizing I had brain fatigue was to go online and see what scientists had to say about it. I realized that even though I had been asymptomatic, many people with no symptoms had suffered brain fog well after the virus had left their bodies. I read the reports and saw that some people could not report to work months after healing because they were no longer themselves.
I remember that after opening up to a friend about it, she let me in on her friend, who had also suffered COVID 19 and brain fog. I had met her friend, and she was quite sharp and lighthearted. So, to hear that she was also having a hard time shocked me. So, the brain fog was real! I was not imagining it! She described her symptoms almost like mine. She was tired, had to take it easy, required more resting time, and was not feeling like herself.
The next question was, how could I get back to being me? Was there anything I could do about the link between COVID 19 and brain fog? It was now time to call the doctor, and I dreaded what he would have to say.
With love,
Dee